tidbits i had forgotten

two things: 1) i had an odd dream a few days ago that a dream analyst would say was perfectly transparent, and 2) i have a new hankering to go to Singapore.

first, the dream. there wasn’t a lot of setup, but it seems like i was back in college and there were lots of people from that time period hanging around. for some reason, my ex was back in town, and i was supposed to try to work things out with him, but i wasn’t committed to it. this is weird because i haven’t had a dream about my ex in about 6 years. he wasn’t mad at me, and he was willing to put everything behind him and see if we could resume before things went bad. meanwhile, seppo was still around and i think there was some agreement that he’d come back around in a few days to see how things were. the ex and i hung out and things were pretty happy and peachy, but it felt like i was in a holding pattern, that i wasn’t really going to try to have it be anything but a pleasant time hanging out with a friend, yet we were holding hands and acting lovey-dovey. when seppo came by, i don’t know where the ex went, but he wasn’t around. there were lots of other people though. i think we had been at a small stadium or auditorium, sitting and enjoying some sort of live event. anyway, seppo sat with me, and i was really happy. in my dream, i seemed to forget that i was supposed to get back to the ex and spend time with him (although he is the one that disappeared in my dream) and just wanted to stay with seppo. at some point, the ex came by and i told him that i was sorry but that it couldn’t work between us this time either. i remember this part of the dream really wrenched at my heart. it hurt and i felt a squeezing in my chest, and i think i even shed a tear while sleeping. then i stayed with seppo and the feeling passed and he held me and we watched the game or whatever and had a fun time.

you can see that there is really no analysis needed.

the second thing is that, as dumb as it is, the inflight magazine for Singapore Airlines really sold me on travelling to Singapore. later, my sis and i were watching a tv show about travelling, which included a bit on Singapore, and she said that she loved it there when she went for business. also, lately i have been inundated with accounts — both fictional and not — of trips to Paris. i would really like to go. i’d like to take a week or more just to see the louvre. come back everyday, eat around there, take pictures, stroll around… i want to have like 3 months to travel in Europe, an unstructured trip that lets me go where i want when i want. i’d love to see the old buildings and touch the aged wood and marred stones, marvel at the glasswork and the architecture. i’d love to take the train through the countrysides, stop off when i can, eat from a hastily packed picnic basket and nap in the shade. i’d like to drink from cool wells in the mountains, soak my feet in rivers where the stones have been worn smooth over time, bring my face close to the ground and water to see the tiny inhabitants going about their day. i’d like to see the sparkle of the sun through the dewdrops hanging in threads of spider webs and step though thick forest moss.

one day.