Category Archives: writing
Been crazy busy with work lately. Not so unusual, but it’s pretty exciting. I wish I had a couple of breathers to just sort of clean up all the messy corners and tighten up the loose bolts, but time is limited.
Sleeping badly lately too, probably far less than before getting pregnant. Hip joint and left shoulder hurts like a mofo. Hip joint pops every time I get up and hurts like a joint that shouldn’t pop.
Clearly have been tweeting too much, as I can only seem to write in fragmented sentences.
Looking forward to the new season of America’s Best Dance Crew. Woo!
The public areas of the house are starting to tidy up and feel nice.
Trying to figure out when to have my mom come out to help with the baby.
Found out yesterday that my sister told my dad I was pregnant. It is nice to know he knows. I’m still reluctant to talk to him, for complicated reasons. I may write him a letter. He has a job as a security guard and is working. With my grandmother’s recent passing, I don’t want to have regrets about not reaching out to him later, but it is still really hard.
It kills me that even with all the money I make, I don’t make enough to pay all the bills here, shore up our financial security, and still get my mom off food stamps. I breaks my heart that she’s still on food stamps. It just kills me.
I’ve finished the Sookie Stackhouse series (up to the most current one out) and started Karen Marie Moning’s Fever series. She got me with her free Kindle book, Darkfever.
Looking forward to getting away to Hawaii in August. At the same time, I think about my dad in Korea and my mom and think, gah, is this really, really ok? Couldn’t I be helping them more? I know there are things I need to do for myself too but in the long run, what will make me happier?
A blogger I read regularly is getting divorced. It saddens me more than it should, given that he’s a stranger.
I’ve been cooking Korean food the last few days. Simple Korean food (not restaurant food) really feeds more than my body; making it and eating it calms me, makes me feel rooted, and other touchy-feely bs that kinda makes me want to hurl, but there it is, undeniably making me feel good. Truly, it is comfort food.
I feel tired. I feel restless. I feel like things are changing faster than I can really take in. I don’t feel like myself, but a wimpier, weaker, whinier version of myself. This too shall pass. I’m not used to it, but it’s not like it’s a permanent state.
I recently reread my NaNoWriMo project from 2 years ago. Or has it been three years already? It wasn’t as good as I had hoped it was. Oh well. It was a learning experience, and I think I can come up with something better.
I’d like to organize my photos. I wish I had more photos as a baby.
Seppo and I talked about how amazing it was that we are where we are in life right now. I was born in my grandmom’s house, lived in houses without running water or indoor plumbing or a modern stove (cooking was done over the fire), and now I live in the Bay Area, in a great neighborhood, living a comfortable life, calling some incredible people my friends, with access to all sorts of material and cultural goods and experiences. It’s crazy. Honestly, if I thought it was just through my own hard work and not also through a series of incredibly lucky events and helpful people, I’d be the most arrogant ass on Earth.
Life, despite all the little bumps and bruises, is great. The bumps and bruises are tiny, insignificant. Our child-to-be has every chance to live to great life, and I just have to make sure he doesn’t become an entitled person, but an appreciative one. 🙂
I crossed the finish line one day early. I’ll probably have a long-assed post on inciteanovel.helava.com soon, but not right now. I am completely beat. Totally. Both from the physical stamina standpoint and from the emotional exhaustion standpoint.
I am so glad to have written what I wrote this year.
On the friend front: My friend visited from out of town a couple of weeks ago. Ordinarily, when I say things like that, they are usually out here on business, or for a wedding, or for some family-related function, or even vacation.
This time, it was quite different.
Margo just finished biking across the US. HOLY MOLY! I saw her near the end of the trip and was completely floored by her amazing feat. It was so awesome to see her [link to her entry of the day we met for dinner]. I hadn’t seen her in years. I met her on either the first or second day of freshmen year in college. We even roomed together for a bit in sophormore year.
Actually, this reminds me of the fact that after Rush Week, we all had to figure out who we wanted to room with, and I remember she was one of the people I wanted to room with. She listed all the music I liked too! And she was so funny in an understated way. And dressed like the indie girl I wanted to dress like. AND to top it all off, she also read Sassy! Can you believe it? But my Evil Roommate guilt-tripped me and somehow convinced me that I had promised to room with her instead even though I had done no such thing. Sigh.
Margo. Awesome! I am so glad we are in touch again, so glad she called me up out of the blue.
Speaking of amazing stuff friends are up to, my friends (a couple married to each other) are running a half marathon tomorrow. Can you believe it? I am so proud of them! Go U & C! They have been working hard for this for months now, and I know they will push themselves to do their best.
I swear, I am the only slug in the group. H is busy as hell but trying to earn Presidential Champions awards. I can barely walk without huffing and puffing. I hope to get better at running eventually though. It’s a goalish thing. I probably haven’t improved much because I haven’t actually made it a goal yet. We’ll see when I get to the point where I want to make it a priority.
The novel writing endeavor is going surprisingly well. I mean, I don’t objectively know if it’s crap or greatness, but I’m putting more honesty and emotion into making the characters in this book than I had ever before. And it’s a little terrifying.
I had been working like a dog, pretty much rolling out of bed, going to work, coming home, breaking for dinner, working some more from home, going to bed, lather, rinse, and repeat, which is why I haven’t been blogging regularly lately, but I made a huge breakthrough Friday night in tweaking performance and reliability levels, so I feel less frantic this weekend. I am still doing some work this weekend, but I feel finally like I’m actually caught up.
All pistons firing!
Today, I watched the TiVoed Project Runway Season 1 marathon (just the second half), got the Roomba back in working order, did a load of laundry, unloaded & loaded the dishwasher, tidied up the kitchen counters and stove, chased my dog around the diningroom table, helped cook dinner, and wrote over 3000 words (approx. 12 8.5″ x 11″ pages of double-spaced in fixed-width font) for my book. I feel like I had a really full day. I’m so ready to go to sleep.