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October 15, 2015   

I found this surfaced in Facebook memories today. I had posted this exactly a year ago. 


I had a lot of fun with the books/movies/games that have stuck with you over the years. This morning, I was listening to “I Remember You” by Skid Row, and was instantly transported to age 13, sitting at my desk at my new school that I only attended for a year in 8th grade, scribbling the words to this song and “18 and Life” into my desk, using the pen to form grooves to hold on to the words.

I remember that feeling of wanting to leave a mark, of this being such important music to me at the time. I remember thinking of the future student who would sit in my now-defaced desk thinking on the words and feeling a connection to a stranger from the past, that felt the same things.

Now I challenge you to list 10 songs that transport you. The biggest requirement is that when you hear this song anywhere, a specific memory pops into your head, and you don’t have to use google or whatever to figure out the year or how old you were — you just know because it’s an indelible part of your memory makeup and who you are. Some of these songs are going to be… dumb and embarrassing to mention, I’m sure, but be honest. 

For me, in no particular order:

1. I Remember You, as listed above.
2. Somebody, by Depeche Mode. – I’m a senior in high school. I’m at the Korean Student Association banquet. It’s not the closing song, but it’s almost the end of the dance. I’m here alone because my boyfriend is in Germany for the year. I am missing him. I almost want to dance with anyone at all because this song defines everything about love as I know it to that point. I want to weep, but I am happy that I know this kind of love. Everyone I ever made a mixtape for got this song on it.
3. Groovy Kind of Love, by Phil Collins. – I’m 12 years old. I’m slow dancing at one of the first boy-girl parties ever with a boy to this song. This is “our song” for me & my first “boyfriend”, who did amazing things like carry my books and help me vacuum my living room and remembered all the things I like. The best first boyfriend anyone could ever have had. He was so sweet and I didn’t know how to show my feelings, but I thought he was the greatest person ever. 
4. Paper Lanterns, by Green Day. – It was on the mix CD that Seppo made for me while we were still just friends. Here’s what I remember him saying to me, “I made this mix CD. If you want it, you can have it. If you don’t, I’ll just keep it.” I very clearly thought he made himself a mix CD and made me a copy just because. As such, I didn’t realize that I should be listening to these songs as things he was saying TO me and that he had in fact made this CD specifically for me. Oops. So when I listened to the words (and I listened carefully), I assumed it was about this other girl he liked. 

I listened to that mix CD in strict order for years and years. I just realized that I don’t have the full playlist on my computer right now and I’m freaking out. I need to find the CD. 🙁
Also, HOLY CRAP THIS VIDEO! It’s from 1990 apparently, when they are playing at Pinole Valley High School. WOW. I can’t imagine having seen them at my own high school. That’s insane.
5. Forever Young (Dance Version), by Alphaville. – I’m in my pastor’s son’s car, crowded in with far too many people for the size of the car. He is doing pickups for Friday night bible study. He is driving possibly a bit too fast, and the car is full of youthful energy. All the windows are down and this song is blasting. I vaguely feel like this song is blasphemous but can’t help loving it and feeling like this moment will last forever and no time at all.
6. All of Me, by John Legend. – Seppo played this for me earlier this year, and it was my first time hearing it because I don’t really listen to the radio. I’m sitting on the couch, listening to my iPhone. Out of nowhere, I start sobbing. We’ve been together for so long, and we still feel all of these words. The words hit me in the heart and I’m down for the count.
7. Bit Part, by Lemonheads. – My high school long-distance boyfriend (sorry these are so boyfriend-related) sent me a mix tape in the mail. I’d never heard of the Lemonheads before. Half the mixtape is REM and some other stuff (actually, I remember every song but I’ll pretend to be cool about it all), and in the mix is this short amazing song. It is perfect. It’s him. It’s us. I immediately rewind after listening to the entire tape and listen to this one song over and over.
8. You Got It (The Right Stuff), by New Kids On the Block. – I remember exactly where I was when I heard this song & saw the video for the first time. We had MTV back in the days when it was almost entirely music video after music video. The tv was on. It was the summer when I turned 12 years old. I saw this video and instantly, I walked right up to the tv and stood next to it. I stood there until they played this video again, not turning the channel, not looking away. It was the first time in my life that I reacted this way to any music or band. I was a tween and I had boyband fever. 
9. U Can’t Touch This, by MC Hammer. – One random day in the summer of high school, I was walking over to where I tutored a couple of younger girls. I was probably 17 years old. The walk was long, so I used to read or listen to my Walkman while walking. Yes, I used to read while walking in the street. Anyway, one time, this song came on the radio while I was on an empty street. So I started doing the hammer, as you do. I had been doing this for like 20-30 seconds, when I look up and see ANOTHER KID in the street, looking at me and LAUGHING. GAH!!!! I speed-walk away.
10. Such Great Heights, Iron & Wine cover of Postal Service song. – Our first dance song at our wedding. :’D
I’ll tag some people, but really, anyone who wants to should do it. Just tag me back so I can see it. Picking some people that share some of the same song memories as me, and some people whose musical memories are bound to be interesting. 🙂
[snipped list of names] 

2014 retrospective.

December 31, 2014   

I’ve written nothing here in over two years. The last time was when I was pregnant with K, before we had any inkling what his name would be. J was a touch under 3. It was a different life.

My brain is so full of things I want to cover in the gap, mostly photos and memories of my beautiful, amazing sons. My blog is full of early memories of J and tell nothing of K’s early years but that’s because our lives have been so full, not because anything about having K has been any less wondrous than our experience with J. I intend to go back and do 3 month retrospectives on the kids.

But let’s just do one thing at a time. For now, it’s just a 2014 review.

Professionally, the end of 2013 and beginning of 2014 was the most painful, stressful, heart-achingly agonizing time I’ve ever experienced. It ended the best era of my professional life thus far. I walked away. Because I had to. For my own sanity.

My little one turned one early in the year. He is a natural wonder, a tornado, cheerful bulldozer that I love to my every fiber.

My big one turned five late in the year. He is kind, generous, and inventive beyond any possible imaginings I’d ever had about how he’d be.

My husband, my rock, my love is strong, resilient, and focused. He’s been through so much but he’s pushing through. He’s been the most patient dad and the most giving spouse this past year. Every year, he grows and becomes an even better version of himself.

This year, we went to Hawaii and to Baja with two different sets of friends. Vacations are so much better when the kids have other friends to play with.

I end the year a bit on a low. I have a cold so I’m not 100% and I could always use more sleep. I’m uncharacteristically feeling bad physical self-esteem.

Next year is going to be a lot of firsts. We’ll ship our first product. We’ll get our first customer and earn our first dollar. We’ll hopefully hire our first employee.

A part of me thinks, or we’ll shut down our first startup. Normal me wouldn’t say that out loud but sick, down me will admit it publicly.

The great thing about 2014 is that everyone in our family stayed healthy! I would love for 2015 to bring continued robust health to all our family. I’d love to see old friends from Philly. I’d love to see family. I’d love to visit a new place we’ve never been. I’d love to get funded.

Resolutions? Lose 15 lbs and maintain through the end of 2015. Make our first dollar in Q1. Go one new place with family.

Not too aggressive but real goals.

21 vs 21

October 18, 2012   

Last time, at 21 weeks, versus this time:

Please ignore my horrendous facial expression and horrifying hair.

Our second baby

October 18, 2012   

In addition to the many lost opportunities to jot down memories of what is happening with our son, I am saddened about the lack of posts regarding how this second pregnancy has been going. We are in week 21, which is roughly equivalent to this point in the last pregnancy.

Major differences:

  • I got pretty huge pretty quickly. Last time, I hid it from people until after week 16. This time, people started asking questions when I was in week 10, so i think I confessed at week 11.
  • Right now, at the halfway mark, I think I’m closer to where I was at 6 months last time, size-wise.
  • Only a little morning sickness! I believe it has to do with avoiding wheat/gluten. Whenever I had even a small amount during the first trimester, I would feel violently ill. Now, during the second semester, I only feel a bit nauseated for a few hours if I have a lot.
  • Less swelling so far.
  • I felt the baby kick internally at around 16 weeks, and felt external kicks around week 18. Now, I feel kicks all the time. I think soon, you’ll be able to see them visually.

Knowing how much our hearts grew when our little boy joined us, I can’t wait for our second little boy. J constantly asks me if he can pet the baby. We try to talk as much about our little baby/his baby brother but we know he’ll never really know what’s coming. He’s very sweet with smaller kids and babies, so I think he’ll be a wonderful big brother.

It’s been a million or so years

October 17, 2012   

Such a long time since I’ve put to words our little boy’s progress… Some people start blogging when they become parents, but I have found it difficult to find the time to myself to write since the birth of our little one.

He’s grown so much. Every morning, every hour, every minute, he’s changing. His conversation is so complex now! I am in awe of how well he can communicate his thoughts.

I sat down here, thinking I could try to jot down some things that would really capture this special time in his life, but I find that I’m overwhelmed by too many thoughts and memories fighting to come out first. I think it might serve me well to simply put these photos up and do more later. Always, always, later…

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-07-01

July 1, 2012   
  • My kid stood on a large rock, made the rock horns, pointed down, and said, "This is rock on!" Tee hee. #
  • @michinyun I was too slow to get a snap because I was giggling too much. 🙂 in reply to michinyun #
  • Ok, fine. I'm three years too late to the party but Community is really, really funny. #
  • @hapacheese 🙁 I hope he feels better soon! in reply to hapacheese #

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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-02-19

February 19, 2012   
  • LOL! RT @Glennia: Why is there no protest of Sears Kardashian Kollection? They're unnatural & harmful to marriage. #jeggingsforhos #
  • (cont'd) of forced socialization with strangers. But I've found that all the parents I've met are awesome! Whew! Kid had a great time. 2/2 #
  • Had a playdate with kid's daycare friends. Second time doing this (different kids this time). Before having my son, I dreaded this kind 1/2 #
  • AGREED. RT @michinyun: Screw you, Karl Lagerfeld. Adele's flippin' gorgeous. She's got this Bardot thing going on. #
  • I checked in at Noble Cafe Oakland (100 Grand Ave) on #Yelp #
  • I checked in at Flipside (3401 Lakeshore Ave) on #Yelp #

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Mr. Talks-A-Lot

April 4, 2011   


He sure does! Seppo posted about it a couple of weeks ago, but since then, he’s progressed at lightning speed! It’s really amazing how fast he learns and recalls things. For instance, I pointed out a traffic cone in one of his pictures just one time, then he proceeded to flip through the entire book pointing out every traffic cone, of which there are roughly a dozen.

In addition to the list Seppo made, he can do the following:

  • say nia-o when he sees a cat
  • say woo-woo or heh-heh-heh (panting sound) when he sees a dog
  • say dah-ji for “doggie” (he doesn’t make a hard g sound yet)
  • pound his chest when he sees a picture of a gorilla or I say the word gorilla
  • say pa when he sees a plane, as well as making the sign for it
  • say clah for cloud, as well as making my fake sign for cloud (I didn’t know what it was the first time I pointed out clouds to him, so I made something up)
  • say puh-pi for puppy
  • say awa or aga for water (“agua”) and milk — basically anything he wants to drink
  • say something like skoo and make the sign for squirrel when he sees it
  • say dah for duck, and sometimes kwa-kwa for quack quack
  • say bibi for baby
  • make sign for fish
  • say geckle-geckle for twinkle-twinkle, which means he wants us to sing that song
  • say ta-do for tractor
  • say wee-oo for wheel
  • say wee-oo (I wrote it it same as above, but it really sounds different when he says it) for the sound that emergency vehicles make
  • say mo-oh for if he wants more (or any) of something
  • say shi (sit), steh (stay), and she (shake) to Mobi, while giving him a treat with dinner
  • say tahs for stars
  • say no for nose, mao for mouth, tee for teeth, eye/eyes for — yes — eye/eyes!
  • point to his toes when you ask him to
  • muss up his hair with both hands when you ask him where his hair is

In his books, he can point to Little Pookie (a little piglet character), the “baby” (any small child in any story), hair, eyes, nose, ears, mouths, hats, shoes, stars, moon, sun, bunnies, cats, sheep, ladybugs, turtles, spiders, balls, wheels, buses, trucks, cones, cars, spoons, forks, and a bunch of stuff I’m forgetting right now.

He can tickle you, hide (by going into the kitchen and running back out, or by covering his face with his hands), fake tickle dolls/characters in books (and seems to know it’s make-pretend), bring books over that you name, put away his plates and bowls into his drawer, twist on caps on his old milk bottles, use a fork & spoon mostly successfully, drink from a cup by himself, find mama’s shoes or dada’s shoes and bring them to the correct person in matched pairs, army crawl under chairs for fun (he just did this yesterday), play blanket fort, rock on our rocking recliners, hit the correct button to play lullabies in his room, find his nose/mouth/teeth.

I am honestly amazed everyday at how fast he is changing! I can’t believe how much stuff he does and is aware of! I just love that kid to pieces. He surprises me everyday with his delight at the world around him. I hope we in turn surprise and delight him everyday by introducing him to the world.

Here he is in a photo from yesterday, about to go down the slide with his friend (whom he calls by name!) — he climbed all the way up by himself:

As a comparison, here is a photo of him taken one year and a day ago, having his first bite of solid food:
His first taste of food

And here is him a year ago to the day:
He loves you thiiiiiiis much!

Ok, I’m watching American Idol again…

February 25, 2011   

For the first time since season 6, solely because of this dude:

I’m TOTALLY going to be voting for him. Casey Abrams FTW!

ETA: One more!

This blogging thing

February 25, 2011   

I’ve been blogging on and off forever, and it’s mostly been off for the last year. It’s hard to find time to write, and it’s harder to prioritize writing over the million other things I need/want to get to in the day when I have a minute.

But when I go back through the last few posts, I know the value my posts have to me, because it reminds me of the little details that I’ve forgotten about my baby, about me, and about our family life together.

He’s 16 months old! That’s ridiculous! This week last year, we put him in daycare for the first time. It was a harrowing experience: I didn’t want to be apart from him and he didn’t want to take the bottle while at daycare. It was devastating to leave him behind.

With the benefit of a year’s experience in daycare, however, it is clear that he gets a lot out of being there. He gets to be around a bunch of children his age, some older, some younger, learning social skills and group dynamics. He is stimulated in different ways at daycare than he is at home, with a different kind of structure to the day, and both are a benefit to him. Frankly, he loves it there. He loves us, his parents, more than anything else in the world, but he also loves being at daycare with many people who care for him.

Randomly, I have a picture from last year today, with him all cuddled up and napping across my belly:

This is him two weeks ago at Children’s Fairyland:
Children's fairyland is adorable!

Doesn’t he look like a tiny farmer? Hee!

Another recent photo:

Here’s one of me & my friend Linda whom I just saw yesterday!

Why are my eyes so cursed tiny???!

Uh, here is the end of my incoherent post.