First Christmas and life with our two month old baby

It’s hours away from our first Christmas with the baby.

He doesn’t just smile now; he laughs and giggles and squeaks while kicking his feet around. Even when I’m at my most tired, after the third fitfull night in a row followed by as many early mornings, when I hear the little one gurgling and cooing and giggling, I feel a smile spread over my face and stretch into every corner of my body.

He’s so much fun! He’s always been communicative about his basic needs, but in the last week, we figured out that when we are able to really pinpoint his tired cues and help him wind down to fall asleep, he’s extra happy when he’s awake, he eats eagerly and efficiently, and sleeps better through the night.

The odd thing, which seems to jibe with something I read in one of the books, is that the better he naps during the day, the better he sleeps at night. This is the opposite of how it works for us adults. I think this is because if he is too tired, he won’t eat until he’s full because his sleepiness and tiredness is bothering him too much. So he goes to sleep then he wakes up feeling really, really hungry, but he’s tired enough that he is upset at waking up. Hunger and sleepiness battle on, and he wakes up crying and doesn’t eat his fill because he is too tired. Wash, rinse, repeat in 1.5 hour blocks.

When he is well rested during the day, I can feed him at night until he is really satiated and catch his sleepy signals just as they start. Then he goes to bed, sleeps longer because he is full (between 3.5 and 6 hours!), wakes up to eat when he is hungry, but he may not be crying because he’s well-rested and his hunger isn’t intense, so he can go back to sleep fairly quickly after a light feeding.

We’ve established a fairly regular routine where he wakes us up at 7am, pretty much regardless of when he goes to sleep. I usually end up feeding him in my sleep 15-30 min before that, not realizing it is morning, then he makes it clear he’s not going back to sleep. He is content to play in bed with us for a good 20-30 minutes. Seppo takes care of him when he gets fussy until just before he has to leave for work, which is really, really, truly, sincerely wonderful for me. He also does nighttime diaper changes. Even though I vow I’ll let him sleep, I find I’m befuddled by the break in routine when the baby wets himself at night (he’s been holding it many nights lately, or hasn’t let a slightly wet diaper bother him) that I’m sluggish and don’t know what’s left or right, up or down.

When Seppo leaves, I play some games with the baby’s hands and feet, talk/sing with him, and, lately, read to him. He’ll usually look sleepy again by 9:30 or 10 in the morning, so I either rock him to sleep or put him in the sling and go about fixing myself brunch, which puts him to sleep in 5 to 45 minutes, which is when I eat. He’ll nap for an hour or two, then wake up to eat like a fiend at around 11 or so.

After he eats, I burp him and let him quietly get adjusted to being awake again. When he starts to get fidgety, the games begin anew. I play old Korean games I remember with his hands, fascinated by how much he pays attention and enjoys the process. I sing nursery rhymes, both Korean and American. I walk around with him, showing him new things and noting how he stares or laughs or lunges in his completely uncoordinated way.

Sometime between noon and two, depending on if he managed to get a morning nap, he gets that sleepy look on his face again, so I help him fall asleep. How successful I am at this during the day is what makes the difference between an easy day and a bad day, because if he’s too tired, he’ll cry and cry and be unable to find relief.

Anyway, if things go well, we repeat the morning’s routine. On a really good day, he will take two or three naps totalling 5 hours or so. This means he’s ready for his long block of sleep between 7pm and 9pm. He’ll sleep around 4-5 hours usually, then eat and be back asleep within 20 min. Next time, he’ll wake up in about 2-3 hours, then in 1-2 hours.

On bad nights, he’ll wake up every 1.5 hours and take more time to get back to sleep.

On days he naps a lot, I manage to squeeze in an hour nap which is awesome. While I’m rocking the baby to sleep or walking around the house with him in a sling, I watch tv. I also watch tv in the late afternoon, while reading books to the baby.

It feels like I should be able to do so much when he naps, but he wakes himself so often during the day that I’m constantly on the watch. Getting him to fall into deep, long sleep at night takes a good hour or three.

On great days, I do a load of baby laundry, load/unload the dishwater, and cook dinner. On bad days, I will have eaten only crackers and chocolate all day, been desperate to pee because the baby looks exhausted and has been fussy and on the brink of sleep for hours, and forgotten if I had brushed my teeth.

On great days, Seppo comes home to the dinner I made, and I can let him rest up a bit. On bad days, Seppo comes home, sees the look on my face, takes the baby and gently pushes me toward the bedroom to take a nap. Seppo cooks dinner or we order out and I try to recover in time to get the baby ready for nighttime sleep then spend 2-3 hours getting him there.

On average days, we manage to hang out, coo over our awesome baby, watch tv, and catch up on our days.

All in all, people are right when they say it’s hard work. But figuring him out more and more makes life easier. And he puts giant, crazy, face-splitting grins on our faces. Everyday, he does some new cute thing. It’s like puppies and kittens in fluffy towels times a bajillion. He makes me squeal, laugh, cuddle, and kiss him all day.

I get tired during the day and I get frustrated at times, but I never get mad at him. When he is upset and fussy, I feel bad for the little guy because I know he’d rather be happy too.

Tomorrow is Christmas. It’s his first. I regret that we didn’t get a tree and that we didn’t get him a cute little Santa or reindeer outfit so we can show it to him when he is a big kid. I want to really live in the moments of our lives as a family, to really create and cherish memories and traditions. I know we do it in our everyday; I just wish I had had the foresight to get things together earlier.

I suppose our traditions will have to live on in things like the songs we make up to sing to the baby, such as my favorite, “Driving a Car”. It changes every time, but generally goes like this:

[hold baby’s hands and make gestures while singing]
Driving a car,
Typing an email,
Driving a car,
Mowing the lawn!

Driving a car,
Beating up babies,
Driving a car,
Taking a shower!

Driving a car,
Skiing cross-country,
Driving a car,
Punching a bear!

Driving a car,
Writing a blog post,
Driving a car,
Flaming a troll!

Thank you, thank you; I know. 🙂 I also sing “You’re a Baby After All” to the tune of “It’s a Small World After All”.