what’s that in the wind?
I believe it is called “change”, and not the kind that clinks around in your pockets.
I got an email from my sister on Saturday. She was clearly upset and had some sort of a fight with my father. He told her that he was going to have to remarry because he was too young to be alone. I almost just wrote a rant, but I decided against it. The bottom line is that my mom is finally willing to get divorced, since he brought it up. My dad wants $3K so that he can move out, but he asked MY MOTHER for the $3K on Sunday on the phone in the same conversation he said that he wanted a divorce.
Ok, I just had to repress another urge for a rant, but it’s passing now.
Anyway, the long and the short of it is that we (mom & older bro & sis) are trying to figure out if it’ll just be easier to fork over the money (which we can’t really afford to, by the way) so that the sis won’t have to live with the monster while mom & he are going through divorce proceedings, or if we shut down the money pipe now. I’d like to shut it down now, but on a pragmatic level, it keeps the sis trapped with him, and everyday with him is like another day of sucking on the tailpipe of a car. She is so stressed and tired that I don’t want to put her through his oppressive presence for any longer.
I told my mom that I was willing to put up my third of the $3K.
Actually, this is the best thing that could happen. Everyone in my immediate family (excluding said father) is pretty excited about the prospect of finally cutting him out of our lives. My sister and I are fairly giddy over it, although I suspect her seeming giddiness is more due to her reaction to daily stress.
He’s not really a “working” sort of guy. He’s more of a “gimme money and start a business I’ll own, and you do all the work too, but I’ll reap the benefits, then blame you for not supporting me if it doesn’t make me rich” kind of guy. He’s always been a financial and emotional leech that has no sense of planning for the future.
On this I would like to say only the following: Fly to Korea (i’ll help with the airfare) and physically kick him out of your sister’s house. Get your friends in Korea involved, call it: Throwing out the garbage day. Kiss your sister on the cheek, tell her you love her, and fly home.
Ugh, I’m so sorry you are going through this. As someone who has had to remove an abusive parent from their life, I can understand all of the issues you’re wrestling with right now.
I don’t know all of the situation, but what if you guys simply refused to pay him the money he’s trying to extort?
Problem is that without the money, he’ll stay at my sister’s house indefinitely, and she’ll have to put up with him while they do the divorce thing — given that my mom doesn’t back out. History has a way of making people cling to old ways. But I’m hoping she’ll finally break the cycle.
I’m so sorry. 🙁 Maybe this is working out for the best, though. Things are changing, possibly progressing. Is he unwilling to work?