breathing out of sheer desperation*

*Title of blog entry stolen from a friend’s blog.

Seppo and I have been talking about b.o. as a result of A_B’s post about how much people stink and don’t know it. Somehow, it segued to my morning breath (everyone has it! stop looking at me!) which then made me wonder if the intensity is related to the fact that when I sleep, I generally breathe through my mouth because I have a hard time breathing through my nose while sleeping. Seriously, it sucks. I wake up every single morning feeling like my nose is so stuffy that I feel like I’m fighting for my breath. It doesn’t seem to be a lung issue because I feel fine when I breathe through my mouth.

Anyway, my conjecture is that sleeping with a slightly open mouth leads to greater overnight bacterial growth then sleeping with a fully closed mouth, because active saliva flow acts as a bacterial deterrent. Sleeping with my mouth slightly open gives bacteria the perfect breeding ground: wet, moist, and aerated.

To test this hypothesis, we purchased a box of clear nasal strips (the regular, non-mentholated, non-vapor kind) last night:

Whoa. When I put that on right before bed, I had this overwhelming feeling like I was taking my first good breath of the last… um… well, for as long as I can actively remember. Wow. Man.

This morning, I woke up and realized that I hadn’t woken up in the middle of the night last night, as I have for the last I-have-no-idea-how-long. Every night, I wake up a good three or four times and I wake up feeling so tired, so matter how many hours I had spent in bed. This morning, I won’t say I didn’t feel tired, but at least I had slept through the night! Woo!

As to the hypothesis, Seppo thought my morning breath was less stinky than usual. Certainly, my throat felt less dry than usual, as a result of not having to breathe through my mouth. I am gonna use these every night, yo.

When I took off the little strip, it felt like I was submerging myself under water. Maybe since I’m working from home today, I’ll just put one on while I work.