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Fearless
I hung out with some of my high school friends at a karaoke joint following our dear friend Rye-Jin’s wedding this past weekend. It was a truly wonderful time for me. I was hopped up on the adrenaline rush of seeing friends, a beautiful wedding, good food, the blinding disco lights, and the loud familiar music we sang.
It was such a carefree, soaring, unmitigatedly happy time for me. I feel like I haven’t been that giddy and free in a long, long time. One of the things I feel like is substantially different about this particular group of friends and the inherent dynamic is that there is a sense of reckless abandonment when we are together. Ok, so one or more of them are going to read this and go, “Huh? Whatever, girlfriend,” but I feel it; can’t you feel it too? 😀
I love the way they just stepped up to the mic in front of strangers (the groom’s friends) and just wailed on the songs, not because they were the best singers (although some of them are truly awesome), but because of this, “Screw inhibition! We’re gonna have fun!” mentality that just doesn’t get in their way. I’m talking about karaoke now, but it’s really something that I feel carries over in other ways.
I think another of the reasons that I hate being pushed or pulled by peer influences is that when I hung out with these friends, we just did as we wanted. No one had to really talk anyone into doing anything they didn’t want to, no one had to push someone else to do something, because we were and are so lively and bold. And at the same time, we are all so responsible and goody-two-shoe and have always been. 🙂
I hate the bonds of the civil, conformist society. When I’m with these friends, I never feel judgment or fear. Maybe that’s why I feel like everywhere I’ve been since then is less freeing, more enclosing, more conforming as a society.
Most of them live within 2 hours of each other. One of us in MA (we didn’t get to see her), one of us is in Korea (she was able to fly in), and I’m out here. I feel so grateful and blessed that I can still be friends with these amazing human beings when they could easily have kept in touch with just each other, while I lost touch in the west coast.
They are brash, unique, beautiful, crazy, mature, dependable, loving people. I love them so much. I miss them so much.
And they love Bon Jovi like I love Bon Jovi. 😀