One to[o] many

Not unlike Seppo, I enjoy writing, whether it is on the blog or on paper.

As he pointed out, it serves as a social shortcut, allowing reciprocol readers of blogs not to have to engage in “catch-up” talk and letting us dive right into the here and now. I value this greatly.

Because I love to write in my blog and have other people read/comment, it would be easy to extrapolate that I love to speak to many people at a time in real life, spending a lot of time telling my stories. But in fact, that type of interaction is my least favorite.

Some people enjoy the unique dynamics you get when you get a group of people together and end up having to talk all over each other to compete for speaking time. Admittedly, I do enjoy this once in a while, but only once in a while. I much prefer to talk to people one-on-one.

I feel like I don’t really get to interact with individuals when we are in groups; rather, I feel like I am getting to know a facade (per person) better and better, while learning to put up a certain honed image of myself, whether it is to be goofy, spazzy, compassionate, or nice. It is when I am alone with a friend, chatting quietly over dinner, or walking around the neighborhood, or driving long distances in a car, or falling over laughing at some insider joke that I feel like my friend & I are truly interacting, truly speaking. I mean, it doesn’t have to be all “deep” stuff, but there is a certain need to balance group dynamics that gets removed from the equation when it’s just the two of you. I like gaining new insight *cough*incite*cough* from or about my friends. I like to see how they’ve changed, how they work, how they are. And sometimes in groups, we are all too busy trying to be clever to really let our guards down.

So I’ve been putting out an effort lately to spend time one-on-one with people, in addition to in groups. I may not get to see more than a couple of friends one-on-one per month, but it’s time that’s really meaningful and valuable to me.